Take me out to the ball game...

Unwinding by watching Baseball Tonight...just showed the top "Web Gems" of May...I just love the game. Yesterday Joel & I went to the game, along with my friend, Julie & her daughter, Hannah. We had a group of school kids behind us that were very enthusiastic fans. One young girl was quite a Torii Hunter fan...screaming at an incredible decibel every time Torii came to bat. I was most impressed with the young boy who was obviously a baseball fan...he knew his stuff.

Anyways, we won the game...with a walk-off walk. The Twins were behind most of the game and to win like that...we'll take it. We'll take the sweep.

The ball game was followed by a shopping trip--Hannah, Julie, & myself. I found shoes! I was exhausted when I got home and couldn't sleep again. Today I went out again...by myself...and was thrilled when I finally found a shawl that I liked that was on clearance. Also found jewelry to wear. So the only thing I need to pick up now is the bride & groom cake topper. I don't necessarily want something traditional...and yet I do.

Had one of those "frazzled bride" moments when I left the shopping mall today...couldn't find my car (I was driving the Hour Car...so not really my own vehicle). I was really starting to freak...but did find it over a few rows from where I thought I had parked it.

Tonight I'm going to crash...tomorrow is Girls' Pamper Day...going to have manicures with Julie, Hannah, and Ana. Looking forward to it.

Wedding Dress Update

Well, I just tried on the wedding dress and it still fits and I still like it. I've been having some irrational fear around those two things.

I was not really sure I would dress "like a bride". I knew there was no way I was wearing white, and I wasn't too sure about ivory. But I found a "special occaisions" ivory dress that I liked and that was on sale. Winner!

Hopefully soon I'll be able to post some pics.

I'm off to the ball game. GO TWINS!!!

Boring a.m. blog

I'm not fully awake...I'm trying to stay relaxed and in vacation mode. Normally I'd be out the door about now. Today (this whole week) I'm off and going to the Twins game at Noon! Yes! Hopefully we'll sweep the White Sox today...the punks.

I didn't get to sleep till 3 am Monday night...or Tuesday morning, depending on how you look at it. That made for a sluggish day yesterday. Last night I half-slept through the Twins game (on tv). It was a great win though.

I did manage to finish writing the vows though. I think it's good. It's a toss-up who will be more nervous that day--Joel or me. I think I should remember to bring kleenix.

O.k. I've got to get some diet coke in my system. I can't be creative or witty when I'm a quart short of diet coke.

Writing the wedding vows

It's late. Joel went to bed hours ago. It seems the cold that he got over a week ago may have turned into a sinus infection. He took some cold medicene and I think he may be comatose until the wedding.

I, however, cannot sleep. It's too late to do cleaning (for me anyways). And yet, with the wedding less than a week away, it seems like there's so much to do and I can't just sit and watch t.v.

Maybe this would be a good time to write the wedding vows?

Joel and I are planning a simple ceremony. I want something that is special and unique to us. Sometimes I envision a ceremony that is very light hearted, short and sweet. Other times the romantic part of me wants something more sentimental and emotional. Some people are betting I might cry (I just teared up). But I also hate being in front of a crowd, so factor in all the anxiety I'm experiencing around that. (It doesn't help that I'm marrying a man with a background in theater that loves to be in front of an audience). Maybe I could have an actress read my part? I guess that's not an option.

We are working with this local wedding site to plan our wedding. It's through them (www.budgetweddings.info) that we found the officiant--Reverend Maverick--who will perform our ceremony. (Reverend Maverick...makes the ceremony sound fun already). So "The Rev" sent us some guidelines to use in writing the ceremony. I also googled "wedding vows" and found a site that got me going in the right direction.

So tomorrow when I'm feeling fresh, I think I'll be able to write the vows. Something that is short and sweet and at times, light hearted. But something that is also, just as I am, sentimental and emotional.

And I don't care if I end up crying.

Mother-son shopping

I went shopping with Cyrus today to buy his outfit for the wedding...or try to buy his outfit. Cyrus was open to only two color options for his shirt. White or black. Now I'm a big fan of color and don't normally think in only black/white terms. We trudged from one store to the next, also trying to look for shoes along the way. Complicating things, Cy is somewhat difficult to buy for because of his size--he's tall and very, very lean (virtually no waist and definitely no hips).

Finally at Sears (the last stop I think both of us could handle) we had some luck. We found a white shirt we could both agree on (it had some texture to it, so that made it more interesting to me). Cy tried it on and then we were looking at ties. As Cy is holding up ties (which he also narrowed to only those with diagonal stripes or solid colored...I was hoping he wouldn't look like a missionary for my wedding) Cy decided the white shirt was a no-go. Unreal. Thankfully, we quickly found a black shirt and an agreeable tie.

The good news is the black shirt and tie won't clash with his new lip ring.

Cutting the umbilical cord

It may not be all that safe for me to be behind the wheel this coming week. My tolerance for dumb-witted drivers is at an all-time low. This morning Joel and I set out to do weekly chores and it seemed like no one knew where they were going or how to get there. One driver tried to straddle two lanes as she made up her mind on where to go. I wanted to tell her where to go, but we wisely skirted past her and went on our merry way.

Joel got a shirt for his suit today, so his wedding attire is all set. I still need to get shoes and a shawl. I also will be helping my son pick out an outfit. Yesterday Cy called to tell me he was "thinking" about getting his lip pierced. Then his phone cut out. When I reached him later to suggest that he wait till after the wedding, his response was "too late". I think the trade-off is that now I get to dress him in whatever outfit I like (probably the final opportunity for doing that).

Ana called this morning to ask if I knew what my son had just done (this comes from the girl who pierced who labrum at 16. Cy is 20). She believes (and I agree) that Cyrus is going through some late rebellious adolescent phase. As uncomfortable as that may be for me, I know it's just another phase of life. Better to get it out of your system now than when life demands you to be "more responsible". Partly I'm glad I'm not living with him now. However, that only turns down the "mommy worry meter" a notch or two. He's a good kid. I just always want him to be safe. I don't think it matters how old your kids get. You always worry about getting that phone call telling you they've been hurt or worse.

Well, that's not quite the direction I intended on going, but a moment or two of reflection is always a good thing. Especially in the midst of change. It's a big deal to be living without "my children" for the first time. It's a big deal for me. It's a big deal for them. Sometimes I miss them like crazy and sometimes I feel guilty pleasure in being "free". The funny thing is that the thin invisible umbilical cord that runs between us still seems to be there. And probably always will.

Being a Bride

We got our first wedding gift today (thank you Julie!). After I ripped it open, I thought "maybe I was supposed to wait" -- but too late. It was so fun receiving our first gift (and one from our registry at Target, my favorite store). It's not about receiving gifts that made it such a delight (although that part is pretty nice too). It's about ... I'm getting married. I'm going to be a bride. It's the start of our life as husband and wife.

For those who don't know, I didn't do any of this the first time around. The first time around, I got married in the judge's chambers. Our wedding night included our two children with us at the Holiday Inn. My family, except for my sister, did not know about the wedding until after the event. There was no party or celebration. There was no being a bride.

Now I consider myself a modern woman. A feminist even. Hey, I'm still keeping my birth name this second time around. But part of me, wants this celebration. Part of me, wants to mark this special event in front of the people who mean so much to me. And part of me, wants to be the bride for this one day in my life. Hey, I've waited a long time for this and I'm one happy woman.

So today, I had my pre-wedding haircut and made wedding small-talk with the hairdresser. Joel's wedding ring arrived and thankfully, fit. We picked up my wedding ring, which finally returned from being re-sized.

And I'm wearing it right now just for the thrill of it.